That would be nice, wouldn't it? i was so tired this past weekend I was behind Lady Ruth's tent casually flicking my cigarette, and had no idea i was standing on carpet and not grass. Good lords, I have the manners of a goat. This is the second time I've done something really scatter brained while under the intoxicating charms of sleep deprivation. I think this weekend I'll send Ruth up something nice, to PRE appologize for whatever mannerless classless thing I'll eventually do. I'm sure I will ha!
Actually though, this week, things are on track and I'm getting *some* sleep, so its an improvement!
I've also come to the realization, that while in real life I have no problems telling someone where to step off, for some reason at faire, I let some of the customers walk all over me. To be more specific, several times I've had people in looking, and then they either GRILL me for how i do it, insist its a photograph I've manipulated, or inform me point blank, the computer makes the art all by itself, with this magic "make art" button. Its only been around five or six people.... but they aren't like, casual about it, they are NASTY.
I've tried to be pretty coordial...... however, obviously thats not working. One "patron" had me so upset I had to leave and go cry somewhere. After grilling me, he casually turned to his friend, in front of other patrons and stated quite loudly, "She's taking credit for art she didn't make.... the computer does all this!". Really, so my Pavillion woke itself up in the middle of the night and automatedly 3d modeled a figure, sketch rendered it then digital airbrushed it??". This week, I'm totally armed with *some* sleep, and on the suggestions of a few other vendors, and my husband in particular, if any approach me like that again, I'm going to have a bloody field day.
Now I admit, there's some well meaning people who just dont understand what I do, and how I do it. For them, i spent yesterday afternoon writing out a sheet, that describes breifly how I paint digitally, how i create it, and also includes IMAGE DIAGRAMS! For the curious, this should be enough. Also on the suggestion of Carl, I made a sign that reads basically "Artist on premises - CGI - Digital airbrush artist".
Now if after those two items someone has a problem with my happy arse, I intend to reclaim myself and retaliate in the Kirinesque style I should have been using all along. I have several pre-forumlated lines to be used upon such dullards.
"I must be a genius to have been the only person in the world to figure out how to make instant art, otherwise there would be sixty tents here selling the same thing!".
"Simple? Then you must be simple too to have been drawn in here to look at it".
"Indeed I have bewitched my computer to do it all on its own..... yet instead of being Bill Gates and selling the program, I am selling 40 dollar framed art in 98 degree weather".
And, my personal favorite.
"Well, you are in here looking at them..... I suppose that would mean I am doing *something* you can't. I fear I detect a little frustration in your voice, perhaps if you read a program manual you could understand what I'm talking about".
Those are just a few that i'll ad-lib as I go, and I'm sure given the day and the...... well..... person, I'm sure i can pull something outta my backside on the fly. Some might be more savory than others. No one is going to get to me like that again!
Now they tell you the generics are always "as good" as the original manufactured name brand item. That might be so, I've had great luck with generic ibuprophen, bandaids, soap and household cleaning products. Even some other items such as clothing and makeup. However, just when i thought getting something "on the cheap" would be a boon to me......
disaster struck!
Now, my friends, those that know me would fill you in, usually I am not one into doom and gloom, and hardly have much drama other than chasing around children at alternate times of day and various reasons for wanting to strangle them. No no.... usually, all is good in my little neck of the woods, I am only here to commiserate and lament in my all bespectacled way of the sheer unfairness, and f-i-tude life can throw at you when you so need things to go smoothly.
for those who are unawares, my profession is that of an artist. My Product, famed poster prints and unframed, which I am looking to vend at renaissance faires. yes, they are prints of my own works of art. Since I have to print them of course, we nearly corrupted our family of the entirety of its funds three years ago and purchased the monster known as the HP Designjet130nr. This bahemoth has run, without fail, taking up a good portion of my office, like a top. Few, if any problems, the largest problem locating the wide format paper i require. However, the cost of ink, well...... enough said. Even if you own a regular photo printer, you know the millionare you have to be to keep the ink flowing.
This, makes a photo printer look like a sheer lightweight!
I...... bought......... some generic ink cartridges......... dun dun dun!!!
When my genuine HP cartridges ran out, i decided to try them, and they worked, for all of five seconds....... then, suddenly, the ol printer decided not to recognize there was even a cartridge in the slot!......... panic! Okay, so I took those out and replaced them with new HP cartridges I had.
dot........ dot...... dot....... nothing, same problem. A whole day went by where i did everything in the book to make my printer work! I have scads of printing to do on a huge scale......... and no printer? I have around two weeks to the SCRF!!! aaaaaaaaaaah!
Suffice it to say, a fourty dollar service call later...... it works, apparently, the generics were corrupt and faulted my reader chips for the cartridges. Joy! Rapture! But at least its fixed. That'll learn me!
"C'mon in the tent lad, I be havin' lots of pretty things for ye to see........ oh, and the paintin's too!"
Yup, its crunchtime down on the Heller corral here, ha! Correcting some of the minor mistakes made at ISD, so hopefully I might actually start paying back ye ol credit card which has been buying my supply items and materials. Heh, wishful thinking, but who knows.
Just spent a wicked two days figuring out a solution to a dilema..... though i ordered vue-all crystal clear sleeves for unframed prints, the prints are on premium Kodak Matte, which, incidentally, is not "stiff". Its satiny type paper...... so guess what? They slouch! Good greif, so to stand them up, i've been searching for material to put in each sheath cheaply to keep them upright and erect. My search took me through tons of materials, which, in the end would be pricey, and make me have to raise my asking price for an unframed 16x20. (8x10 and 4x6 are on stiffer paper and don't require it).
Lo' and behold, staples to the rescue, 1.79 for a three pack of poster paper. It only adds about 55 cents to each picture, and isnt so costly i have to remove it once purchased...... and the customer can have a stable item all the way home, yay! Or should i say, Whew!
Then.... i realized, on my smaller deskjet which prints out the 8x10's and 4x6's (not the 130nr jauggernaut that does the posters), the ink runs out so fast, that i'd have to be a billionaire to replace cartridges. Now, i'm picky picky picky, I could make the ink last longer by choosing a lower ink setting.... but then the quality drops. I just can't in good conscience sell something to the public I feel is "mid range" in quality. Hmmm...... well, first i found a place that sells generic cartridges, woohoo, okay much cheaper. But wait...... whats this?
OMFG, its an ink refill kit! Pennies! Okay so my hands end up perma-stained majenta and blue, but its worth it to save 35 dollars a cartridge every 1/2 day. So more relief.
I had a few people slightly irritated I only had two of the zodiac series and didn't have their sign available to view, or purchase on the spot. I've added them but though they are "racy" it could be theorized, i have to have them in the back with "must be 18 to view". This doesnt bother me, in fact, to me, it will gain intrigue lol. I've started printing those and the unframed 4x6's. Now I have the 8x10's, the 16x20's..... then the framed pieces I'll have...... and a partridge in a pear tree!
Saleswise, things did not go so well. Though thats a "hit" of course to anyone looking to earn a living, it was my first faire, so that dissapointment was quickly shoved aside. At least some artwork was purchased, and people took more business cards than I actually imagined. Though I had some jealousy of other vendors who were an hour faster setting up and breaking down as I was due to having to build walls on site to hang art..... the Riverside faire did indeed serve as a valuable learning experience. Which, not for nothing, was exactly what I did it for.
So, did I make any big boo boos? Oh lord you bet!
Mistake #1: Forgot the sunscreen. Did I mention I forgot the sunscreen? Though overcast most of the day, the last hour or so was in direct sun..... and my daughter Kendall and I were beyond crispy critters. I WON'T be making that mistake again!
Mistake #2: Not having some kind of gel insert in my shoes. 'nuff said. I felt like a hobbled woman when I got home.
Mistake #3: Bringing only one stool. Either my daughter or husband's arses were on it....... apparently I do not need to sit! (with no inserts in my mary janes!)
Mistake #4: Not having ANY shopping bags! How did I overlook this? I have NO idea, but glad its caught now, I now have bags for ansonia! Good greif!
Mistake #5 : Thinking I could call in every credit card on the spot, and without an ear bud or bluetooth no less. HA! By the time I hit enter and got the phone back to my ear it was on like two steps ahead of where i was!
Mistake #6: Not taking into account some people don't want a FRAME! Yup, I didn't have unframed prints which were lighter and lets face it, cheaper. Big ol sales lost there!
and lastly, mistake #7: Not having a pre thought out hawking call prepared beforehand. Other than "mornin' to ya"...... my husband and daughter said NOTHING to anyone passing by. This has been corrected LOL
So though no great sales were made, lol the learning experience was well worth it!
The van is packed and ready to go for set up tonight and nearly needed a shoe horn to get all the rack materials in! Why I am this anxious/nervous I don't know, except this will be the first time I'm doing this....... and the weather report, for thunderstorns tonight and morning rain. aaaaaaaaah! I'm hoping by some miracle that changes!
I've had *minimal* contact with those who run the faire, which is also putting me on edge, though they seem laid back ...... which is a good thing! However, if you have any form of OCD, this would drive you nuts lol. I'm "guessing" at appropriate set up times, which is stated "friday" but thats about it.
Will I forget something? Will it rain like crazy (and rain on my parade? lol), I know I sound nuts, but i'm super excited. I'm keeping optimistic that things will go smooth, and it will be a load of fun :)
